What makes me now today

As a kid I was very silent. I always had a huge lack confidence. I was always keep everything to myself, I wanted to have a lot of friends but made friends with the wrong crowd and I would always cry. Honestly I kind of wish that I could have changed myself for the better. However I kind of don't want to because if I didn't go through this change today I might not have been so positive and happy. Now I want to participate and have fun. I am really good at keeping my team positive. If I had a project with them I would be like"guys we got this, be happy we have the best idea". Even now that I am positive I still have weaknesses one of them is talking in front of people. I try to be nervous but my heart beats fast and I shake a little. I want to try to be able to speak without getting nervous but that needs a lot of confidences.